Personal Pieces

As of right now, I unfortunately have only 2 beautiful tattoos. I wish I had way more! But unfortunately they are expensive. The smaller one I have is on my left wrist and the bigger one I have is on my right arm. They both have great meaning to me. Most of my tattoos that I will have will have significant meaning to me, some will be stuff I just like.


My first tattoo


My very first tattoo that I got is the depression awareness ribbon with the word "hope" in it. The significance? It is one long story....
Ever since I was 10 or 11 (I am 18 now) I've suffered from manic depression and severe anxiety. I remember being so beyond sad all the time no matter what and I was even suicidal at the young age of 10. My mom took me to a councilor that I didn't like very much, but she didn't know what else to do. She was just as confused as I was to what was going on. Nobody knew why a child so young was experiencing such awful thoughts and feelings of hopelessness and dread. The councilor told my mom that I had severe depression. That was a huge moment of my life because I didn't know if it was something that would pass or if it was something I'd have the rest of my life. Shortly after this diagnosis we stopped going to this councilor.
I suffered with these depressing and suicidal thoughts till I was 16 years old. 16 was a very important age for me because it was the age I finally decided to get help for my issues. Up until 16 I thought I would just get better on my own and that I didn't need to go on medicine. I was very against the thought of going on medication up until everything got so unbearable that I had nowhere else to turn. My stubborn personality got the best of me for 6 years. I had to go on medication and see a therapist often. To be completely honest, it wasn't ideal. But if I hadn't gotten help at 16 I definitely wouldn't be here right now. Therefore it was one of the best decisions I've ever made in my life. To this day, I am still on medication (2 different ones to be exact) and currently I've been doing extremely well. From the middle of April of 2016 to up until recently I was struggling again because my one medication alone wasn't working like it should have been and some stuff had happened that triggered my depression and anxiety in full swing. But I went on a new medication and now I am doing well again thankfully!
My tattoo symbolizes what I have been through all these years and is a symbol of my recovery from my many mental illnesses.
To those who are struggling, please, I encourage you to get help. You and your life are important. Think about how your family and friends and peers would feel if you did something to yourself. Things may be bad right now but what I've learned is that it cannot rain forever.





My second tattoo

My second tattoo is a red rose on my upper right arm, and design wise it is my favorite of the two. The meaning of this tattoo is a couple of things. 1 is because roses are my favorite flower. And 2 it is also for my uncle who died of leukemia when I was only 4 years old. His favorite color was red. I honestly wish I could've known him because my mom tells me and my brother how much of an amazing person he was.